|
Joon Bungalow Koh Phangan
|
Why doesn’t Thailand have sea-planes. They have them in the Maldives and they work. You don’t need big concrete runways, just wooden jetties, and you could fly from Phangan directly to Koh Chang or Bangkok or Phuket or Tao or Pi Pi or anywhere in the South. It would make life a piece of piss!! So the new concrete road is finished, well it isn;t actually FINISHED, as in going ALL the way down the hill. It stops 20 meters past the first turning on the right. I think it goes on the extra 20 metres because that’s as far as you can see if you looked down from the top. Is this because when the man (or lady!) from the government comes to check it’s been done, they don’t bother actually going down it, so whoever got the contract is laughing all the way to the whisky store. Or is to fool the tourists, who will think “ah, concrete road,” unaware that after the concrete bit, it’s a suicide ride!! So Sunday and Monday day and nights are spent in bed with this shitty stinky cold!!!! And of course it’s the week of no power. Tuesday I still feel shit and am pissed off as I can’t train and had been doing so well. I have to get up and start getting the villa ready for the guests who have rented it from Dec 24th, so I jet wash the drive and the steps down to the pool, weed most of the garden and then take my scooter for repair as it’s pretty fucked. The exhaust has broken but he doesn’t have a new one but says he will repair it tomorrow when the power is back on. He lends me a bike and I go to Thongsala and play my internet bill (even though it hasn’t worked for almost 2 weeks, I pay my phone bill (not bad-850baht!!) my income tax and money I owe to Inter Pool. No power so I watch the closing of the Olympics in bed (WHY did they finish with Paul (I am a Walrus) McCartney crooning Hey Jude. I would have gone for Robbie Williams singing Angels-now THAT would have been amazing. Ideally actually I would have had Joe Smooth singing Promised Land but millions more would know Robbie and Angels, and anyway, Joe is not English, so...... Wednesday I re stain all the decking, do some gardening, pick up my scooter (950 baht for exhaust repair, new brakes and oil change!!) and then head to Srithanu Kitchen with Rory for food and then onto Joon Bungalows and hook up with Rob Gritton, and a couple of his mates. Rob tells us about his weekend in Koh Kut and the fact that he sleeps with boys on a regular basis, even the small gay dude from one of the resorts, but he says nothing sexual has ever happened. OK Rob we believe you!! The conversation started cos he had to share with Big Steve in BKK and he said he snores like a mutha fucka. So I text Steve and ask him for my own hotel room when I am in BKK at the weekend as I am doing the same gigs Rob did. When I play in Russia, if it’s over 2 weekends I have to stay with Eugene in Moscow in the weekdays. It’s a tiny tiny flat and I sleep on the floor and I can STILL here Eugene snoring his fucking head off, it’s a nightmare!! It’s the King’s Birthday so we go to watch the boxing at the pier in Thongsalsa. Bump into Jackie Baker and Bond from Great Bay. We drop Rob’s mates back at Joon Bungalows and Rory Gallagher(which is also Rosy in predictive text!!) realises he has a puncture so I have to drive him home on the back of my bike, and he is one big lump. STILL no power Thursday and I am beating myself off, I mean up, about this enforced vacation as I cannot do an work, but what the hell, it’s a gorgeous day so enjoy it, I say to myself. Cindy is actually being good this week and is home most times I return from being out or when I wake up. Maybe she has had a row with boyfriend Jimmy but she doesn’t woof about it to me. So after taking her for a walk I take Rory back to Joon bungalows so he can go get his bike fixed. This was a good call as we see Ramona Sky on the way. She is fully recovered from her bout of Dengue and is looking totally gorgeous. We go and have a coffee at The Beach Village and then hang around the pool for a while. She looks fab in a bikini I have to say. She cups my hand as I light her cigarette and I take this sign of being tactile that maybe she is coming round to maybe fancying me!! Well, I am allowed to wish aren’t I!! I meet up with Rory at home after dropping by Shiralea to pick up their big saw Seb has said I can borrow. I need to cut back a tree in the garden that overhangs the pool, and it takes us about half an hour before it’s done. Of course although we had STARTED to cut it so it would fall away from the pool, we ended up cutting it the other side, so despite me holding the rope to swing it so it would land towards the waste ground, the fucking thing lands in the pool. Luckily nothing got smashed, and it all gets cleared up OK. We head down to My Way for a celebratory iced tea, bump into Mikee who is moaning about the power situation and also the fact that it’s probably not a good idea to eat any kind of meat or fish as the fridges have been off. Good advice I thought, so then it’s back to Srithanu Kitchen as they the power is back on from 6 till 8. Despite spraying with anti mossie stuff, we get eaten alive before we can eat our tofu and vegetables. I end up at See Thru in Haad Yao to do some online work!! Friday I take the 1.30 Seatran to Samui as flying up to BKK on my airmiles. I didn’t actually FLY on my airmiles, I was in a p[lane, but I used my airmiles to pay for the flight. The mini bus ride to Trat the next day was pretty funny, despite having to be up at 5.30am. There was Baz Type One, Big Steve & a guy called Doug, who I thought was Irish, but he was actually Canadian! My hearing must really be degenerating!! Steve told us about this new music genre called Donk. Apparently you just put a Donk in the arrangement, though I still didn’t know exactly what he meant!! But a donk went in everything the whole weekend, maybe Steve even shoved one up his arse for all we know! Koh Kut is amazing, half the size of Phangan and probably what Phangan looked like twenty years ago, but with even better beaches and there was not a 7/11 or an ATM in sight. It was a good weekend and I played Sat and Sun night. It was a mission getting home though-26 hours door to door, and the packed public mini bus for the journey from Trat to Bangkok took almost six hours. I had to put my feet on a bag in the small aisle as there was zero leg room, and this Russian dude complained, so I am like “Dude, my feet are clean and they are staying .here.” He didn’t say anything after that, but I got filthy looks at the half way stop! It wasn’t even that they were anywhere near his head anyway. C*nt! The journey brightened up much later though with this Irish girl Elaine having a full on row on the phone with her Thai boyfriend, who was demanding to know exactly where she was the whole time, like EXACTLY!! So she was screaming at him that she would get off the phone, check on her GPS and call him back-she called him back about 6 times!! Steve, Baz and me just could not resist taking the piss, and Elaine thought it was hysterical, and even though she was already thinking about finishing it, we convinced her by the end of the journey that her relationship was doomed. She really was going to dump him! So nothing exciting happened all next week, except breakfast with Ramona Sky which did not come about because we had slept together, just that we bumped into each other when I was on my way back from the pier on Tuesday, but it was nice anyway. And we talked about sex which was actually kind of frustrating! Spent the week getting ready for the holiday season, which also meant a lot of early nights. Did get to watch The Dictator though-the new(ish) movie from Sasha Baron Cohen-funny as fuck!! There had been a couple of meetings with P Noi at Tommy Resort to finalise plans for Full Moon on Dec 28th and Countdown, and getting the flyers designed, but that was about it. Played at Electronic Lounge on Friday. Always nice to have some local support so thanks to Snoopoid and Boyonic for popping in. Then when I went to leave at 3am (2 hours later than I meant to!), I found I had a flat tyre on the jeep. Fuck, shit, tits, bollox. So a long wait for a taxi home, which meant no sleep as it was half four before I got home and had to be up at 6 as was getting the 7.15 Lomprayah. So that sucked, even more so because when I went to leave at 6.30, it was pissing down with big thunder and lightning, and of course I had to get to the pier on the scooter. I was on my way to Pattaya, not really out of choice but because a good friend Ingolf Kunz who supplies the laser at Tommy’s every Full Moon was getting married to probably the most gorgeous Thai girl ever, Nee, who looked even more stunning that could be imagined in her wedding dress. I am always told I think too much, and it’s true. I spent the whole flight trying to remember if I had actually checked my bag in. I just could not remember doing it at check in. I was sure I had just left it by the counter. Of course I knew that in the west, if I had, it would have caused one big security alert and I did have the vision of my bag actually being blown up despite not hearing any announcements over the tannoy. My fears were even stronger as I had no baggage check attached to my boarding card. It could have been on my passport of course, but that was in a bag in the overhead, and I was just too tired to get it out and have a look, and what could I do anyway if I had left it at Samui. So I tried to be positive, and it was a huge relief when it appeared on the carousel in U-Tapao. The line at check in had been huge, it took 50 minutes, and I never seen that before at Samui and I kicked myself for not checking in on-line. So if you are travelling any time soon out of Samui-CHECK IN ON-LINE!! Even though I had so much time, I hate standing in a queue/line, I would rather being doing one!! OK not now, that’s all in the past! Ingolf had spared no expense for the 100 people sit down dinner-the best food I had certainly had in 5 years. The desserts were the icing on the cake, (actually I just realised there was no cake!!). Real blackberrys with mousse and strawberries dipped in hot chocolate. Ok so the diet went right out of the window as I had 3 servings. Ingolf is also a body builder as well as being German, so there were quite a few big fucks there!! I was shattered so went back to the hotel at around 4am as had another mission of a day coming up as it meant another journey on the Lomprayah night bus and boat, after getting the public bus from Pattaya to Bangkok. This week has been good. A great fight night at Chorenrit in Thongsala on Tuesday, then popped into Joon Bungalows, which was busy!! Nice to catch up with peeps including Darragh Casey & Kate Balk. There was a great turn out for the fund raiser for P.A.C. at Pirates Bar on Wednesday where I ended up playing 5 and half hours, so pretty much till sunrise almost, and now off to play Secret Garden for what could be the last party ever, as tomorrow, the Mayans have predicted the end of the world. Actually that sucks as no-one mayl ever get to read this blog, so that was a waste of fucking time writing it then!! If we are still here then I wish ALL the party promoters, Rhythm & Sands, Electronic Lounge, Half Moon, Black Moon, Shiva Moon, Pirates Bar, Secret Garden, Sramanora, Hansa Resort, Guys Bar, Eden, Jungle Experience & Loi Lay continued success in 2013 which is when the next blog will appear. My wish for 2013- rid the island of yabba and ice-now THAT would be good. Keep everything else though of course! Merry Christmas!!
Previous blogs KP Blog by Graham Gold |
Keep updated with phanganist.com by following our Facebook page.
